Goddammit Jerry – A Compendium

 

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“Hey guys I have a little problem.”

“Goddammit, Jerry we talked about this.”

“But my neck was itchy.”

“This is the fourth time this week!”

“Listen, are you gonna help me with this or not?”

“Jerry you have a problem.”

 

 

 

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“Hey, I know we’re fighting and all

“But does anyone else feel like the statue over there 

“Is, like, really symbolic?”

“Jerry now is not the time to be all meta.”

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“Jerry, you just stranded us. In ice. How did you even manage this?”

“Guys, you don’t understand. There was a dog–”

“We’re stranded, Jerry.”

“And now we have a dog, so you see…”

 

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“We come in peace, bringing smallpox as a sign or our good will.

“We’ll even share our diseases! Aren’t we friendly?”

“Jerry I don’t think they’re gonna buy it…”

“Nonsense. This is going swimmingly!”

“Goddammit Jerry you’re about to go swimmingly if you don’t shut your mouth.”

 

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“Hey, does anybody else smell rain?”

“Quiet, Jerry the show’s about to start.”

 

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“Thanks for your help, Jerry. I was off to see this

“Sweeney Todd guy a few blocks down when my foot got busted.

“He’s such a stand-up fellow.

“I’m sure nothing bad will ever come of that guy.”

 

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“Who started this fire??”

“4/20 blaze it.”

“Jerry not again.”

 

Author: Connor M. Perry

From an early age, I learned how to divide by four. See, two minutes after I was born, I discovered three other newborns hot on my heels. I was a quadruplet. And I needed to learn to how to share. Everything. At an early age, I took to writing so that I could have something unsharable. I began writing small stories online for my own enjoyment, and gradually moved to more ambitious ideas. I've been running my blog The Mythlings for two years now, publishing a new installment every Friday. I've enjoyed creating different worlds, characters and relationships in my stories. I currently live in Worcester, MA with my girlfriend, two cats, and a collection of swords.

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